evolution of species part I

as humans we evolve.. unfortunately that means we no more connect to the very same people we loved dearly at some point in past.. what is it that creates a void between relationships???. or is that void imaginary.

i guess the real factor is the fact that we change and so do our expectations and view points..

as a 5 year old the school ground is a huge vast space so big that it would contain all games and imaginations.. years later when seen with grown up point of view suddenly the same ground has shrunk.. in some cases it does literally,with new blocks that have suddenly sprung like a weed..

in a lot of ways relationships are like the good old school ground.. as we grow they cannot fit in our huge expectations and sometimes egos.. egos that have sprung up like new blocks ..they unable to handle the new additions to the individual lives.. spouses, kids , jobs and other nick nags.

the relationship of a 2 year old with mother.. for whom the whole world is wrapped up in her arms... years later the world of arms has shrunk or rather his world had expanded beyond them and the mother is unable to handle the fact that her boy has actually grown up and may have other places to go to besides her arms.. perhaps this can explains the ever discussed " saas- bahu " feud... the new block ( read wife) is unacceptable to the older block( read mother)..

same applies for friends.. as javed akhtar puts beautifully.. pehle hum waqt nikaal kar milte the, ab milte hain agar phursat hoti hai".. we took out time to meet earlier, now we meet if there is free time..
a childhood friend who was so close to me at one time that life and all plans seemed to begin and end at her.. the same friend now cannot find time to even call when in town for a month.. how strange.. or rather why strange?? we have changed , have new blocks named husbands, jobs, kids, egos and realisation that how different our lives have shaped up..

and the conversation drags into "aur sunao"within minutes of the call.. no common tutions to discuss no common teachers to make fun of and conversation come to a stand still where you have nothing to share.. how strange that we can no more connect.. is the change just because we live in different cities with different lives.. no i guess it is just that like everyone else we have evolved.. unfortunately unlike darvin's theory of selection of the best this evolution has deselected a friendship.. how sad...

the hyper critical's :)

Being in the fashion trade has it's own con's.. one of them is you end up being hyper critical ( unsure if it is a dictionary word :) )... if one happens to be enjoying a quite meal with friends your eyes might be wandering around on someone's ill fitting skirt or miss-match sandals. and worst still a curtain that is not matching to the wall color.. someone would stand up and say" what does a curtain has to do with matching walls"..
fair enough a curtain has absolutely no personal sense of matching yet we would discuss it..
it begins to spiral down further when one starts applying the same logic's to people .. living and breathing one's.. whether his or her opinions match or even worse what did he or she mean by that and whether you can match it to your personal likes or dislikes...

some time back i was sipping coffee with a friend who unlike me was single.. we were discussing men and i asked if being single is her choice... she famously said "it's not that i don't want to , may be i didn't find the right man.."
"babes , there is nothing like a right man in this world .. "i say" or rather there is no permanent mr. right." am i being wise or i am being critical of the male fraternity in general??..
" but things have to match somewhat" she protests..
matching again.. see who was saying there cannot be matching in curtains.. people match humans as well ..
"hmm !! what do you mean by matching??"
she explains " you see all the men i meet are either too smart or downright dumb. one of them even had the courage to come up and ask if i was a virgin"
this is getting interesting .. i nod unapproovingly waiting to hear what she replied
" i asked him if he believed in free sex? he was taken aback and said hell no!!.. so i replied then how much do you charge for it.."
hehe that was real good one..
" looks like i'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before i find my prince charming" she added
well only if i had the cheek to tell her that most prince charming's turn into frogs after wedding kiss.. so i give her one of those" i know what u mean babes" looks while smiling at the imagination of my husband transforming into a frog.. what a weirdo i can be ..gosh!!
and the waiter arrives with our hot coffee and we both say in unison " Who would want mugs printed with red bhandhej pattern.. it just doesn't match !!"
back to matching ... hehe