Monday, December 1, 2014

Classy Hygine

A recent Twitter outrage over caste and Hygiene has literally dragged me into writting a blog after ages.. ( yes too Twitter to read offlate you see). The post in question spoke how not letting the bath room cleaner cook food is a "matter of Hygiene & not Caste".
To an extend she is right.. Hygiene has absolutely nothing to do with caste or class or as a matter of fact upbringing. The conversations, arguments and humour takes me back a few decades to my Father's ancestral home. An old, sprawling house with a strict vegetarian Brahmin family. At the side of the house were a few "Kothris" as they were called. Mostly occupied by househelp's and some tenants. During my summer trips I have memories of this young widow of a "lower caste" living in one of them with her 2 children.( Let me explain that her caste is very important disclosure before I am labelled casteist). Kamala Bai as she was called helped our extended household with various tasks ( not cleaning the toilets though ). I have vivid memories of her in her neatly pleated dull colored old saris and a well oiled bun to keep her hair in place. My mother often remarked how neat and organised she was despite her poor financial state and not to miss the caste. Her Kids went to school & wore old clothes that were washed clean, ironed and repaired when the need arose. Such was her aura that she looked graceful even in those hard impoverished times. However this gave me & my sister a lot of agony as my Mom would give her example every time she found our room and clothes in a mess. To be honest we were quite tired of her example. As years passed the frequent trips became infrequent and she faded away from my memory.

 On Entering my College for admissions I remember feeling a bit awkward as everyone seemed to have come straight from a photo shoot. Given the fact it was a fashion college in a Delhi, the small townie in me was intimidated. Women with peachy complexions and manicured nails wasn't something that nerdy me was used to. Soon enough some of them became my hostel mates. To my greatest amazement these gorgeous women had a cupboard full of .. well !! Dirty laundry if I must say it politely. Most of them woke up late just in time to wash faces, apply makeup and dash. Leaving behind a trail of perfume and unwashed laundry. The rooms had a permanent stink of Cigarette smoke, perfumes and well "the laundry". I have seen the horror of poly bags full of used sanitary napkins that they found no time to throw. Most of them actually came from high class well to do backgrounds. But somehow the bathrooms would always have a bucket of someone's clothes that they "soaked meaning to wash but conveniently forgot". The stink arising from cloth rotting in detergent is not very hygienic you see. Perhaps I should thank those well manicured women for having taught me to clean the bathroom before I could bathe. They shall find a mention in my oscar speech.

 Fast forwarding a few years to my first Job in Mumbai and the sea facing flat I entered as a PG. The Old Goan Couple had a love for cleanliness ( well almost) and their old time stories( along with antique China) . Being a junior entrant to the house I got the room facing a high rise and not the ocean. The house had an assortment of women all well read, well healed and working. In my first few weeks I was quite enamoured by a smart advertising executive/copywriter living in the sea face room. She spent more time on her makeup than all of us put together. Spoke English in a clipped accent and could tell her "Keats from Shelly". She also spoke highly of her Calcutta university and its hall of fame graduates. And Boy in that pre Internet Era she even knew her share of sauces and gourmet cooking. Everyone in the house raved about her "Machch". Understandably "The House" and its occupants loved their fish and hence a permanent smell in the kitchen and even the utensils. Aunt Bella as she was fondly called had been a good cook and had spent her lifetime cooking for her 6 children none of whom now stayed with them . Now with failing eyesight and increasing blood sugar she had no one but the Tribal maid from Chattisgarh to do the cooking. Such was the grime and stink in those utensils that I opted for a "Dabba" on the pretext that I was a Vegetarian and they may not be able to cook for me. Hygiene definitely had taken a back seat with passing age and the "scarcity of maids" as Aunty liked to put.

 Just around the time I was in awe of our Miss Know It All, I got the most amazing offer. That was to shift into the sea face room. To my amazement the young Lawyer with an Army background wanted to swap places with me. What better luck you see so I grab the opportunity only to realise her reason for shift in a few days. Our Miss know it all turned out to be no different from my ex hostel mates. In fact to my horror she was unabashedly unapologetic about it. She considered being organised and neat as a sign of wasted life and energy. Her dirty laundry and the equally dirty habits however never made her " Machch" any less Hygienic or delectable to anyone. So what if she didn't clean the toilets and prefered applying makeup and perfume to personal Hygiene. She looked and sounded Intelligent upper class enough to be Considered "Hygienic". Call me a casteist but I shall think twice before she wishes to enter my kitchen and cook.

Friday, September 10, 2010

JUST ANOTHER DAY..!!

Eight o' clock already and no sign of maid... where the hell is she.. DING DONG..! AHA! must be her..

OHHO! it is the 7 year old of my neighbour.. " aunty , draupdi will not come today"
Shucks.. what the hell.. i just pray that the food maid arrives... so much to do..
Wait who's crying.

" ohh baby what is it .. why you always cry when u wake up.. my baby..."
"Let me change your diaper..."

Yuck.. forgot the milk boiling on gas... RUN !!... sorry a little late... milk is already all over the kitchen counter.. Brilliant some more work added to already endless list..

DING DONG! .. THANK GOD... it's Aarti.. at least i won't have to deal with lunch...

bring bring.... Now who is it calling on my cell..

" hi aunty.. oh yes! why not .. no i think i can manange.. yes yes i will no problem.."

What i don't understand is why people have to keep Pooja's on a week day already so much on my plate and now this pooja to attend in evening... do i need to wear sari or a decent suit would do..

WHAT THE HELL... " betu what is it in your hand.. i don't believe it ."

i thought i had only taken 5 minutes on that call.. never knew five minutes were enough for pippi to spill an entire jaar of sugar on floor.. WHY WHY WHY??? will have to mop the floor again.. tuch tuch..

bring bring..COMING yaar...now who is it.. yaa hi Smita.. yes yes.. i know.. okay i will forward that mail to you... give me an hour.. yes.. okay..

OH ... pippi is still in the bath tub.. God.. why the phone had to ring..

Now my baby is clean clean and will wear wah wah clothes.. aha.. NO.. don't open the powder tin.. NO .. pippi don't do that.. come here mamma got duddu bottle for you..

Thank God he slept... finally i get to have bath... what time is it... God it is 10:30 already.. gotta rush..

HONK HONK... mom can you hold him.. i am late already..Bye... yes he has eaten ... and has slept an hour almost.. see you in evening..

Sooo much chaos in office.. bring bring.. yes smita i have sent you the mail... okay i will also courier that.. okay..

bring bring... yes.. speaking.. no i do not need any loan and no thanks you.. bam... these marketing calls i tell you.. oh.. where am i yes this trim looks okay to me.. just check the stock for it....

Thank god most of the to do list is over..

Shit! what time is it?? already 6... i have to rush to Aunty's pooja... yuck! why do i have to...

Should I change first or change pippi first.. okay let me change him first.. My baby ready now..

Is the red one politically correct or the black suit would do...

Oh No! baby why you have to play with the water bottle... look at you i will have to change you again.. What yaar... it is so chaotic.....

Ready.... finally... ohh let me keep a diaper and bottle in baby bag...

Can't find the black slip on's .. Okay who cares...

I will anyway have to leave slippers outside for pooja.. any one wud do..:)

hiii aunty... namaste uncle... yes i am good.. oh yaa he is growing big... almost 2 years now.. yes.. thank you uncle ...

hello bhabhi... i am good... how r you.. yes he is growing up fast...

Only if some1 asks my heart.. grin grin :) why people have to be so artificial..

NO Bhabhi... I still go to office.. yes i do that... but there was no point leaving ... finally my store is doing very well..

who the hell is she to suggest i should have left my work.. IRRITATING..!!

No I leave him with my mother in the day till 6 or so.

OH YES..! DEFINATELY... I have it all very easy.. after all i hardly have anything to do... and what role do i have in his brought up..

WHY not.. he is being effortlessly brought up by MOM..

just when did you bring up your own kids.. living in a joint set up with no job .. only no one notices that even your children were fed and changed by their granny's too.. WAH.. so much for being a MULTI TASKING WOMAN...

SIGH!! What a day...

Saturday, July 31, 2010

WHY I LOVE FACEBOOK

WHY I LOVE FACEBOOK

Recently I read an interesting account as to why some1 left face book.. On the other hand I think I am hooked to it .. Here is why....

They say time is a great leveler.. Oh yes it is but so is face book.. The girl who was over smart in class and you secretly detested is now on your friend list.. And you love to read that she is a homemaker while you can boss over 50 people.. Yippee..

OH ! Yes also in the case of ex’s.. You can secretly laugh and feel good that you were far better..:) How mean! I know.. Now don’t grin.. We all do that.

It is a great stress buster.. It’s great to read a status update by an ex- colleague that he is also having a bad day at work .. So you aren’t the only one.. :)

And suddenly you are at peace with your weighty issues.. The girl in your class who shared size XS with you in hostel also wears size L now..:)) See didn’t i say blame it on age, children and that slice of cheese cake.. It’s a universal issue....

Face book makes you scientific in approach. Let me explain.. You wonder (with jealousy of course) how Z has managed to stay as young ( read thin) as she was.. And you remember that her mother is thin too.. Blame it on her genes.. It’s all in the chromosome.

It connects.. As the logo says.. Suddenly you are aware that the guy you barely remember from past job is having a great holiday in Maldives.. And of all people why they have to post pictures of them having fun while you are slogging at your desk..

It’s a great place to gossip.. Oh yes! you can discuss the changed relationship status of someone you had gone to college with.. "Psst.. Wasn’t she seeing that one in college.." Women and gossip I tell you :)..

It also makes you very Tolerant..

Tolerant to gyaani’s on net who want to share the unwanted gyaan straight out of books..

Tolerant to the picture obsessed ones’ who would post just about anything and in truck loads.. read 300- 400 pictures of a wedding they attended.

Tolerant to the showy kinds who would post party pictures next to an item( read semi clad lovely woman with great hair) they themselves don’t know..

Tolerant to the perennially bored one’s and their sheep’s, ducks and melons..

Tolerant to the always wow one’s who would comment “ soooo cute!” even on the badly clicked picture of someone they remotely know..

Tolerant to a thousand cause request’s without even knowing how your joining that group can help the cause..

Thank god mere paas face book hai....but as Appy would say.. mere paas Kaam hai..

Saturday, July 17, 2010

being humourous

I meant to write something humourous.
Though the line between humour and absurdity is often too thin, almost blurred. Surendra sharma says" hansi to bekaar ki baatan pe hi aave hai". Meaning u can only laugh at the absurd and not humour. He is a noted funny man from the era before the shows like comedy circus redefined humour into absurdity. So let’s name it BCC, i.e. before comedy circus.
And all this while I thought only circus was meant to be fun and funny. These TV shows have made the fine art of comedy itself into a circus. See a Siddhu roaring on one and Shekhar Ji rolling on another. And I get confused whom to laugh at the presenter or the judge.
On second thoughts they at least claim to be a funny show. Other shows claiming to be news hours show far more comic visuals than the entire comedy circus's put together. The India TV reporter was busy showing the rooms and the mandap a day after dhoni's wedding. It almost looked like coverage post a bomb explosion. "Dekhiye exclusive visuals uss mandap ki jahaan dhoni ne shaadi ki thi".. Now now poor man I know TRP's must be the topmost priority on your boss's to promote list. But doing this for a job absurd. Err humourous
At a friend R's house the latest reality show is watched with rapt attention. And some of them could get absurdity certification. In fact I told her the other day how a lot of foreign movies/shows are given viewership rating. Suitable to be viewed by adults or children below so-so age etc. What if we gave such tags to Indian serials and shows.. What would they be?
comedy circus.. blah blah.. various comedy shows - hilarious, seat belts suggested (not for you.. the judges silly.)
uttaran/balika vadhu.... blah blah ( almost all prime time soaps) - hysterical, big handkerchiefs’ recommended. Either to wipe tears shed in buckets or tie your forehead in case of a head ache..
Big Boss.. Adult content , may include obscenity, abuse, immorality and drama, sure shot fame to ageing stars with no work . suitable for people with too much time to see who woke when and picked up a fight with whom.
Dance and music reality shows.. bearable , may show humiliation, infighting and faux nail-biting drama in announcements and bitching. Suitable for gossip and drama lovers’.
And last but not the least.
India TV... if there was an Oscar for bad bad bad work that should go to it.. What it needs is not a disclaimer but a WARNING.. in RED COLOR.. View only if you are insane, sloshed, looking for kicks out of their stupid naag nagin stories or worse have an IQ lower than 50. Every story is a breaking news.. Sure shot way to break your nerves.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Numbersome Women

Who says women are not meant for numbers. i think they are one's with best knack for numbers
Not so long ago (mentioning numbers is a dicey thing to do for women especially when time frame is in question) in school days all that everyone was bothered about was numbers. Competitors (and mine was an all girl's one) would tear apart each other for 1 or 2 number in examination. On the other side boys would not openly fight for that small a digit. Of course these days they discuss numbers in terms of what is the number of face book friends someone has.
In college the question still remained around numbers with how many guys who had dated or currently dating. The expressions of coarse differed ranging between mockery to envy. That was though some years back and now they still talk about numbers only in terms of calorie intake and inches off or on the waist. Numbers again!!. Some I meet are brilliant in numbers when it comes to counting BMI which is the new equivalent to pythogorous theorm. I am sure with an endless excess to guys through the social NET working the number of guys dated is no longer a great achievement.
When you are unmarried it is a question of how many proposals you had or how many you rejected. Numbers are flaunted and admired. In case the numbers in your age are above the accepted value the questions are still around numbers. “When do YOU plan to settle. Give us a time frame or number?"
Women are also very good at guessing numbers of someones boyfriend or husband's bank balance. “Look at her ring must worth be a lakh. Read “she has bagged a fat goose"
When one is married the questions are still around numbers. How many years have you been married or the number of years you wish to spend before the number of children question arrives? Once you have 1 child the question is again with numbers" when is the number 2 expected?"
And once you are past all the questionable numbers the mother of all questions
“you don't look **!"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

evolution of species part I

as humans we evolve.. unfortunately that means we no more connect to the very same people we loved dearly at some point in past.. what is it that creates a void between relationships???. or is that void imaginary.

i guess the real factor is the fact that we change and so do our expectations and view points..

as a 5 year old the school ground is a huge vast space so big that it would contain all games and imaginations.. years later when seen with grown up point of view suddenly the same ground has shrunk.. in some cases it does literally,with new blocks that have suddenly sprung like a weed..

in a lot of ways relationships are like the good old school ground.. as we grow they cannot fit in our huge expectations and sometimes egos.. egos that have sprung up like new blocks ..they unable to handle the new additions to the individual lives.. spouses, kids , jobs and other nick nags.

the relationship of a 2 year old with mother.. for whom the whole world is wrapped up in her arms... years later the world of arms has shrunk or rather his world had expanded beyond them and the mother is unable to handle the fact that her boy has actually grown up and may have other places to go to besides her arms.. perhaps this can explains the ever discussed " saas- bahu " feud... the new block ( read wife) is unacceptable to the older block( read mother)..

same applies for friends.. as javed akhtar puts beautifully.. pehle hum waqt nikaal kar milte the, ab milte hain agar phursat hoti hai".. we took out time to meet earlier, now we meet if there is free time..
a childhood friend who was so close to me at one time that life and all plans seemed to begin and end at her.. the same friend now cannot find time to even call when in town for a month.. how strange.. or rather why strange?? we have changed , have new blocks named husbands, jobs, kids, egos and realisation that how different our lives have shaped up..

and the conversation drags into "aur sunao"within minutes of the call.. no common tutions to discuss no common teachers to make fun of and conversation come to a stand still where you have nothing to share.. how strange that we can no more connect.. is the change just because we live in different cities with different lives.. no i guess it is just that like everyone else we have evolved.. unfortunately unlike darvin's theory of selection of the best this evolution has deselected a friendship.. how sad...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

the hyper critical's :)

Being in the fashion trade has it's own con's.. one of them is you end up being hyper critical ( unsure if it is a dictionary word :) )... if one happens to be enjoying a quite meal with friends your eyes might be wandering around on someone's ill fitting skirt or miss-match sandals. and worst still a curtain that is not matching to the wall color.. someone would stand up and say" what does a curtain has to do with matching walls"..
fair enough a curtain has absolutely no personal sense of matching yet we would discuss it..
it begins to spiral down further when one starts applying the same logic's to people .. living and breathing one's.. whether his or her opinions match or even worse what did he or she mean by that and whether you can match it to your personal likes or dislikes...

some time back i was sipping coffee with a friend who unlike me was single.. we were discussing men and i asked if being single is her choice... she famously said "it's not that i don't want to , may be i didn't find the right man.."
"babes , there is nothing like a right man in this world .. "i say" or rather there is no permanent mr. right." am i being wise or i am being critical of the male fraternity in general??..
" but things have to match somewhat" she protests..
matching again.. see who was saying there cannot be matching in curtains.. people match humans as well ..
"hmm !! what do you mean by matching??"
she explains " you see all the men i meet are either too smart or downright dumb. one of them even had the courage to come up and ask if i was a virgin"
this is getting interesting .. i nod unapproovingly waiting to hear what she replied
" i asked him if he believed in free sex? he was taken aback and said hell no!!.. so i replied then how much do you charge for it.."
hehe that was real good one..
" looks like i'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before i find my prince charming" she added
well only if i had the cheek to tell her that most prince charming's turn into frogs after wedding kiss.. so i give her one of those" i know what u mean babes" looks while smiling at the imagination of my husband transforming into a frog.. what a weirdo i can be ..gosh!!
and the waiter arrives with our hot coffee and we both say in unison " Who would want mugs printed with red bhandhej pattern.. it just doesn't match !!"
back to matching ... hehe